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Chotchkie’s Passwords

Posted by Bob Jonkman on 7th March 2015

Note to security policy admins: Be sure there are technical means to enforce the policies you set, because, like physics, people tend towards the lowest energy levels.

It’s amazing what a little search’n’replace will do.

Manager: We need to talk about your password.

Joanna: Really? I… I have fifteen characters. I, also…

Manager: Well, okay. Fifteen is the minimum, okay?

Joanna: Okay.

Manager: Now, you know it’s up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Or… well, like Brian, for example, has thirty seven characters in his password, okay. And a terrific smile.

Joanna: Okay. So you… you want me to use more?

Manager: Look. Joanna.

Joanna: Yeah.

Manager: People can get a password anywhere, okay? They come to Chotchkie’s for the atmosphere and the security. Okay? That’s what the password’s about. It’s about security.

Joanna: Yeah. Okay. So more then, yeah?

Manager: Look, we want you to secure yourself, okay? Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to have more and we encourage that, okay? You do want to secure yourself, don’t you?

Joanna: Yeah, yeah.

Manager: Okay. Great. Great. That’s all I ask.

Later…

Manager: We need to talk.

Joanna: Yeah…

Manager: Do you know what this is about?

Joanna: My password?

Manager: Yeah. Or your, um, lack of password. ‘Cause I’m counting, and I see only fifteen characters. Let me ask you a question, Joanna. What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum?

Joanna: What do I think? You know what, Stan, if you want me to have 37 characters in my password, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don’t you just make the minimum 37 characters?

Manager: Well, I thought I remembered you saying that you wanted to secure yourself.

Joanna: Yeah. You know what, yeah, I do. I do want to secure myself, okay. And I don’t need 37 characters in my password to do it!

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